Thank you, from the bottom of our hearts!

In some ways, this is a difficult post to write, but in many ways, it isn't. As many of you who read this already know, we found out last Friday night that our in vitro cycle was unsuccessful, and much to our disappointment, we are not expecting a baby.

And then as many of you probably do NOT know, also, Friday was my last day teaching at Page Middle. Kind of a long story, but to make it short, I had been asked by the principal to stay through the end of the year, and she had told me that the powers that be were fine with me, a not-yet-fully-licensed teacher, being there. Well, that was not so. A few weeks ago, they put their foot down and forced her to hire another teacher. So as of tomorrow, I will go back to substituting.

So, a lot of change and disappointment in the past couple of days. I could stop there. But you see, I can't...because I serve a God who is so much bigger than our circumstances and sadness. He is so much greater than the sorrow of today, and He brings us the great joys of tomorrow, time and time again.

As Jordan and I sat together on Friday night, not saying much, not really crying, and really just listening to Lord, God met us, as He has before in these past couple of years as we've faced the some of the most difficult things we could imagine. He has filled us with great expectancy for what's ahead, great hope for the future, and great excitement for tomorrow AND today, knowing that with God all things are possible and He will continue to lead us on this great adventure.

I am always reminded of a journal entry I made about 2 and a half years ago during some time with the Lord. I was thinking of all of my "heros" in life: both those I know and those I admire, and I was realizing that the reasons I admired them were not for their successes or amazing talents, rather it was their great faith and determination in the midst of some of the most horrible circumstances: death, poverty, famine, destruction, pain, betrayal, persecution, etc. And I wrote right then and there: "God, if I need to go through the fire in order for my life to be an overwhelming example of Your faithfulness and promise, I am willing to do it. I want to have an amazing testimony for You, so I am willing to go through the tests."

Have I regretted writing that?

Not for a moment!

Sure, the pain is real, sometimes so thick you can grab it and squeeze it. But, in the midst of the deepest pain, I've experienced God in ways I just really can't describe: He is so real, His voice so clear, and His words so life-giving.

I encourage you: no matter what you are facing or what life looks like or you think it will look like for you, do not fear stepping into the unknown because of the potential pain it could cause. God brings about situations we cannot imagine if we truly will trust Him.

He asked us Friday, "Do you believe me." Because we know He is faithful, we were immediately able to answer with confidence, "Yes Lord, we believe." We know not what it looks like at this time, and we are still diligently seeking Him for some clear direction for the next steps, but we are confident in the end result and what the finish line looks like.

So go for it, with all that you have!

(If you would like, click HERE to read my journal entry from Saturday, Feb. 6, the morning after we found out)

So, it's been a pretty busy week around here, and at the same time, not busy at all. Why, you may ask? Well, I shall tell you. Jordan and I are smack dab in the middle of our in vitro cycle. I began my hormone stimulating injections a couple of weeks ago, and this week was full of ultrasounds, checkups and blood work. I went in on Thursday (yesterday) for my egg retrieval. I don't really want to post a whole lot on here, but just know that everything is going very well and God is so good. We aren't going to know for a few weeks the full outcome of everything, and I have one more big procedure to go next week, so please be in prayer for us for the health of my body and our little embryos.

God is so good and SO faithful!!

Two posts in one day?! Are you kidding?

I wanted to post a quick note to let everyone know about something that I just found out about and am really excited for! One of my friends, Jessica, and my OB/GYN, Dr. Rupe, are in the process of publishing a pregnancy guide, written from a Christian perspective. Jessica has PCOS and had a very difficult time and long journey conceiving her first child, Hope, and is now beginning the journey to conceive her second. Dr. Rupe is the incredible OB that God totally directed me to several years ago, right before Jordan and I found out about some of our own infertility issues. She has been such a blessing, and I simply cannot WAIT for her to deliver our little miracles!

But anyway, they have started a blog and Jessica is journaling her journey toward pregnancy as well as this book. I am SUPER excited about this and definitely encourage you to check it out:

http://thepregnancycompanion.blogspot.com/

Hello, world! Are you still with me? I'm here, I'm here, I promise! :-) "I'm not dead yet." (cue British accent in Monty Python movie) Sorry, I'm kind of out of it here. It's 7:00 on Friday night and I am deep in the throes of a precis on "A Good Man is Hard to Find," my third paper of the semester on this particular short story. But I love it, which is why I chose it for my 3rd and 4th papers in this class. On the agenda for tomorrow is a paper on John Keats' "The Eve of St. Agnes." Ahhh.....I love literature! But my purpose in composing this post is not to bore you with details of my end of semester finals and papers, but to announce that I am now a FULL TIME ENGLISH TEACHER!

After some time of deliberating before the Lord and praying and dialoguing with my husband, we made the determination to accept the job offered me by Page Middle School as a 7th grade English teacher for the 2nd semester, which goes from January through May. Most of you know, if not directly, at least from reading this blog, that I have been working Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays at the school already, but a couple of weeks ago, we found out that the permanent teacher would be unable to return for the duration of the year, and I was subsequently offered the job. I apologize if you are finding out about this directly from my blog, but I know most of you knew that this was an option and that I was considering it. Anyway, it is just a ridiculously crazy thing that the Lord has opened up and orchestrated and I'm super excited and scared to death all at the same time!

Anyway, I'm sure I will have more to post in the future, but I wanted to let everyone know what was going on. AND....in more AMAZING news, I will probably get to start my IVF meds again within the next week. YAYAYAYA! I am super pumped for that!

Geez Louise, what a week it's been...here's the quick rundown:

-School: going great, but CRAZY right now. This week I had three midterm tests and a big paper due. Then for the next couple of weeks, I have two more papers and two projects/presentations...so it's been full. But it's amazing how much I am learning. Going back to school has been an incredible experience. I am soaking it in, it's just SO applicable and I know the information is much needed for my abilities as a teacher.

-Job: this has been amazing! I had been subbing at various schools since August. Well, as of Monday, I am teaching 7th grade Language Arts three days a week. They asked me to do all 5 days, but agreed to work with me since I am in school. The situation was one in which their permanent teacher has been out this entire semester, and the interim wasn't going to be able to stay. It's been amazing to see God place me right smack dab in the middle of the situation. It's a lot of weight and responsibility, but my organizational radars are going off like crazy as I get that classroom back in order: both the room itself and the students, plan with the other teachers and LEARN A TON!!!! God's grace is all over it, the students have been incredibly receptive to me and it's just awesome!

-In Vitro: As everyone knows, we have had a slight delay, because I had surgery about three weeks ago (it seems like much longer than that) to take care of some polyps. That kind of delayed things...in order for my body to heal. We are still set to go, and anxiously awaiting, but at this point, it's basically up to when my body gets ready! (I'm sparing you the major details!) The downside is that we could run into the issue of the office being closed for Christmas. The whole thing is very exact and very timed, so there is a chance I am going to have to wait until January now. The circumstances are completely out of our control, but I know entirely under God's, so I am fully at peace with this and awaiting whatever He reveals as the perfect timing.

-Church/Friends: Jordan and I are just LOVING living in Spring Hill. I mean, we've been here almost three full years now, and working in the city even longer than that. There are connections and relationships popping up ALL OVER THE PLACE! We are having a chili cook off on Sunday evening for the neighborhood, and we've had a great response so far. It is just so on our hearts to connect people, not just with us, but with each other, and watch God work as people learn to live in community.

Okay, I'm signing off...need to study for my advanced grammar midterm before I head off to class this morning. Blessings!

Well I am doing well! Surgery went fine, I recovered...pushed it a little too much but then caught up on my rest later on. So, now we're just waiting....back at square 1 with IVF....I guess not completely square 1....that happened a while ago, but square 1 for the treatments. Which is fine, since we're still on track to do it! For that, I am thankful.

Other than that, we had a full week. I had classes, work, meetings, and fun times with family and friends. Last night we celebrated Independence High School's homecoming, and Meagan Fernandez who was part of the Homecoming Court. Jeannie Wherley and a couple of the U-turn girls made shirts, and they were nice enough to make me one! How fun is that?!?



How fun is that? Independence won, 31-28 and it was a good game. Afterwards, Jordan and I came home and watched "While You were Sleeping." That really is an incredible movie! Great morals, great story, funny and so sweet. It's a few years old, but totally worth it!

Today we enjoyed celebrating with our friends Paul and Alison Hillenbrand at their baby shower. They are expecting their first, a little boy in December and we are all SO excited! Next week they're moving into a brand new house in Spring Hill, just right down the road from us! We had a great time, and I wish I had taken pictures, but I was busy taking them with Rachel's camera, so I didn't get any. Oh well!

Well, I must be gone...LOTS of homework to do, and this day, as relaxing and great as it has been, has FLOWN by!!! Must be working!

Quick update...I was scheduled to start my new medication yesterday, but in my IVF appointment on Thursday, during the ultrasound, they found a small spot on my uterus that needs to be removed. It's not a big deal...except that it could prevent an embryo from implanting, which is obviously very important in IVF. So, I am going in for a minor surgery tomorrow morning. I haven't been able to eat anything but clear liquids today, so I've had like 6 cups of tea, 2 cups of chicken broth, lots of water, and 3 jello cups! :-) I'll post later in the week to let everyone know how the surgery went, but please be praying that it's just a minor blood clot, and that we can continue on the timing of this IVF cycle. God is so faithful, and I know that more than anything else!! His timing is perfect!

Well we've had a great week so far! We got a little surprise on Monday, which was amazing!!! Looooong story short: Erin, Dan and Hopie got to spend the night with us Monday night. They had some MAJOR travel issues getting back to Florida after a wedding in Michigan, and ended up rerouted to Chattanooga for the night. Well instead of staying there, they rented a car and drove to see us! They got here around 7:30, just in time for dinner, and we played with Hopie until she went to bed. BIG THANKS to friends who let me borrow pack'n'play and soy formula! It was SUCH a treat to see them and I consider it a blessing from God!! Jordan had to leave early yesterday morning, so he didn't see them much, but I saw them for about an hour before leaving for classes. They made it home safe and sound- finally- yesterday afternoon.

I'm in the full swing of things with my classes. This was a super busy week with a lot of stuff due, but I was able to knock it all out over the weekend, and classes went well yesterday. I'm really loving my Education classes and (most of) my English classes.

And in other new, I am a pro now at giving myself shots. Haha...they really are fairly easy and painless now, so I am thankful for that. We'll keep going with this until 10/1....that's our first big checkup. So, until then....hope you're all doing well. Blessings,

Good morning! Hope everyone is fine and well this beautiful Friday morning. It's so funny how seven o'clock feels late to me now. I used to have trouble getting up sometimes at 6 or 6:30....not anymore!!!

I am headed to an elementary school today to sub in Special Education. It's a difficult area, but there is SO much opportunity and especially in elementary, those kids need to be loved on! I've only subbed Special Ed twice this year: once in Elementary and once in High school, so this will be my third time, but I love it!

I start my first major IVF drug tomorrow! Woo hoo! Here we go. I practiced giving myself a shot last weekend when Ferris was with me, so that she could supervise. It wasn't too bad at all! Please just pray that the medication itself doesn't hurt or make me sick.

That's about it for now. Blessings to you all on your day and your weekends. I think Jordan and I are headed out for a little high school football tonight for our date night, and it looks to be a great night for it!

Substitute Teaching

This week has been incredible! Monday, I began what will be my "job" this year, although it feels nothing like that. I am now a substitute teacher for Williamson County Schools. Jordan and I have felt since last December that the Lord was calling me to be a teacher, and the next 6-7 months were spent really praying, checking things out and determining exactly what that looked like. I determined that high school English is the route I need to go, and will be starting classes at MTSU in less than two weeks to get my licensing to do just that. Class will be two days per week, and I was able to get hired by WCS to substitute; this was the first week I was available to do so. As the year progresses, I would love to be able to work solely in middle and high schools, but I am enjoying the days I am in elementary as well. Gives me a good idea of what to expect if in a few years Jordan and I send our kids that route.

So this week, I have subbed as a Special Education teacher in an elementary, a P.E. teacher in an elementary and a P.E. teacher in a middle school. I have 7th and 8th grade on the horizon, as well as high school choir, but most of the time I will know the day of or maybe the day before. It's very exciting and I am loving every moment of it. It took me all of about an hour of being in the school on Monday to know that this is EXACTLY what I am supposed to be doing. It was an incredible feeling. It makes me so anxious to get out there and teach right NOW, but I know that, too, is a process the Lord is taking me on.

And then in other news, for those of you that I may not have emailed directly, Jordan had surgery on Wednesday this week, which jumpstarted our In Vitro Fertilization process. I will technically be getting into my cycle probably next week. HERE is a sample calendar of what a "cycle" means, although mine will include 12-21 days of birth control pills prior to starting what this calendar shows. I will be posting a little bit on here about it, but may not share everything so feel free to ask me if you have specific questions.

Jordan and I are elated. In fact, as I glance down at the date on my computer, today is the 1 year anniversary exactly of when we had been told we could not have children. It was one of the worst things we have experienced and yet, at the same time, it was a glorious day because God held us and carried us and gave us strength in a way that I had not yet experienced in my life. This past year, since that phone call, has been a journey, and there's no way we would have made it through but for the grace of God. So, we're ready for whatever this year brings, provided it is by His hand!!