Thank you, from the bottom of our hearts!

In some ways, this is a difficult post to write, but in many ways, it isn't. As many of you who read this already know, we found out last Friday night that our in vitro cycle was unsuccessful, and much to our disappointment, we are not expecting a baby.

And then as many of you probably do NOT know, also, Friday was my last day teaching at Page Middle. Kind of a long story, but to make it short, I had been asked by the principal to stay through the end of the year, and she had told me that the powers that be were fine with me, a not-yet-fully-licensed teacher, being there. Well, that was not so. A few weeks ago, they put their foot down and forced her to hire another teacher. So as of tomorrow, I will go back to substituting.

So, a lot of change and disappointment in the past couple of days. I could stop there. But you see, I can't...because I serve a God who is so much bigger than our circumstances and sadness. He is so much greater than the sorrow of today, and He brings us the great joys of tomorrow, time and time again.

As Jordan and I sat together on Friday night, not saying much, not really crying, and really just listening to Lord, God met us, as He has before in these past couple of years as we've faced the some of the most difficult things we could imagine. He has filled us with great expectancy for what's ahead, great hope for the future, and great excitement for tomorrow AND today, knowing that with God all things are possible and He will continue to lead us on this great adventure.

I am always reminded of a journal entry I made about 2 and a half years ago during some time with the Lord. I was thinking of all of my "heros" in life: both those I know and those I admire, and I was realizing that the reasons I admired them were not for their successes or amazing talents, rather it was their great faith and determination in the midst of some of the most horrible circumstances: death, poverty, famine, destruction, pain, betrayal, persecution, etc. And I wrote right then and there: "God, if I need to go through the fire in order for my life to be an overwhelming example of Your faithfulness and promise, I am willing to do it. I want to have an amazing testimony for You, so I am willing to go through the tests."

Have I regretted writing that?

Not for a moment!

Sure, the pain is real, sometimes so thick you can grab it and squeeze it. But, in the midst of the deepest pain, I've experienced God in ways I just really can't describe: He is so real, His voice so clear, and His words so life-giving.

I encourage you: no matter what you are facing or what life looks like or you think it will look like for you, do not fear stepping into the unknown because of the potential pain it could cause. God brings about situations we cannot imagine if we truly will trust Him.

He asked us Friday, "Do you believe me." Because we know He is faithful, we were immediately able to answer with confidence, "Yes Lord, we believe." We know not what it looks like at this time, and we are still diligently seeking Him for some clear direction for the next steps, but we are confident in the end result and what the finish line looks like.

So go for it, with all that you have!

(If you would like, click HERE to read my journal entry from Saturday, Feb. 6, the morning after we found out)

Sharing my Heart

There is a song that has been really ministering to me in the past week: "In Christ Alone," by Keith Getty & Stuart Townend. I LOVE singing this song- it's more than words, it's more than a worship song, it's truly an anthem for me, and a story of what God is doing in my life right now! So I decided to record it- VERY ROUGHLY- on Garage band last night. I apologize for the quality (and the rough "punch-in" haha), but I thought I'd share it with you. Sometimes singing is better than talking (or writing) for me. Here are the words:

Click HERE for the song.

In Christ alone, my hope is found
He is my light my strength my song
This Cornerstone this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm
What heights of love what depths of peace
When fears are stilled when strivings cease
My comforter my all in all
Here in the love of Christ I stand

In Christ alone who took on flesh
Fullness of God in helpless Babe
This gift of love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones He came to save
'Til on that cross as Jesus died
The wrath of God was satisfied
For ev'ry sin on Him was laid
Here in the death of Christ I live

There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain
Then bursting forth in glorious day
Up from the grave He rose again
And as He stands in victory
Sin's curse has lost it's grip on me
For I am His and He is mine
Bought with the precious blood of Christ

No guilt in life no fear in death
This is the pow'r of Christ in me
From life's first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny
No pow'r of hell no scheme of man
Can ever pluck me from His hand
'Til He returns or calls me home
Here in the pow'r of Christ I'll stand

There are some amazing things happening that I am just so excited about! For the past few months, Jordan and I have been walking through a very difficult time in ministry with many, many families that we go to church with. It just seemed that every time we turned around, someone within our direct area of influence was pretty much at rock bottom, and that was a hard thing for a young couple in ministry to walk through (knowing there are many more to come) But it's amazing to see these very same families beginning to see the rainbows in the middle of their storms. We're seeing sons returned, families walking out of depression into hope, financial situations that seemed impossible are turning around, engagements happening, babies conceived, amazing amazing things.

My sister in law, Erin, wrote a post the other day about trusting God, and it's very true that it's simple to trust Him when the risk isn't costly for us, or the stakes aren't too high. But what about when it's your family, or your marriage, or your financial status, or when it goes against EVERY FIBER of your being. Having the ability to trust, and really trust Him in those times is when it counts, and it's amazing to see God showing up, although the timing was different that we would predict.

One of my favorite verses, Isaiah 43:19, " Behold, I will do a new thing. Now it shall spring forth: shall you not know it? I will even make a road in the wilderness and rivers in the desert."

Repentance Walk

...walking down Church Street in Nashville at 7:00am on 7.07.07...pretty amazing!! It was like this for a long way behind us as well...